If there’s a sexual problem in your marriage or in your partnership, then chances are, whether it started out as a relationship problem or not, there is a relationship problem component to it.
It could be that there’s a sexual problem or something physical that’s happened to one of the partners and that physical thing shows up and creates a distance or discomfort with touching each other. Maybe it started out as a physical problem that one of the persons had. But overtime, since it’s not been taken care of, not addressed and not talked about explicitly, it now has eked into the relationship and into the emotional connection that couple can have.
The reason that it happens is because anytime something occurs where people don’t want to have sex for whatever reason; either their desire is not there, they’re sick, taking medication that killed their libido, they feel bad about their body or they have trust issues, etc. any of those reasons, if not managed and talked about, it kind of sits there. So then what happens is since you don’t want that sexual thing happening with you anymore, what you end up doing is staying away from lots of other affectionate kinds of things that could lead to sex.
Sexual dysfunction is a serious issue that if not managed right can turn into a relationship problem. Unfortunately, most people don’t like to talk about these issues. Many couples suffer from sexual dysfunction and would rather choose to be quite about it because it is considered a taboo. If you’re both willing to restore your normal sexual life, you have to trace the main problem, face it and finish it.
In this case, we’ve listed some of the most essential steps couples can take to overcome sexual dysfunction;
- Pay attention to your masturbation patterns and habits. Focus on how often are you masturbating and how you are masturbating. The point of this is to train your brain that you can lose and regain an erection.
- When you’re masturbating, you might want to pay attention to the type of pornography you’re watching. If you’re watching pornography, trying to make it relational pornography or perhaps just use of fantasy in your head, sometimes it’s difficult when you’re masturbating to a lot of pornography to duplicate that level of arousal in a partner’s situation.
- Look at the state of your relationship. So if there’s something going on in your relationship, you might want to get some couple counseling or see somebody individually to try to figure out what’s going on with the state of your relationship.
- Adopt a model for good enough sex. What does this mean? 15% of all sexual encounters are going to be failures, so you want to make sure that you adopt that into your sexual practice.
Nothing kills a relationship like a cycle of criticism and contempt. So if you have a bad sexual experience or mediocre sexual experience, figure out a way to move through the sexual dysfunction instead of highlighting the sexual dysfunction you set yourself up for a cycle of criticism and contempt.